I can’t tell you how many times I have heard something like this over the last year:
“If Trump wins another election, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m definitely going to move abroad. I can’t take it.”
“If we don’t win, I just can’t live here anymore. I’m moving abroad. I’ve had it with this place.”
If you are a Republican (and if you are, how did you end up on this queer liberal’s post?!) you might have heard someone say something like:
“If Trump doesn’t win, I’m moving to Costa Rica.”
Yep, it’s on both sides of this blue/red equation. Ever since I published my book, How To Move Abroad And Why It’s The Best Thing You’ll Do, earlier this fall, I’ve had countless people reach out to tell me their stories, share their anguish at this country, and share their dreams about where they want to move abroad, especially if Trump wins the election.
And I’m not alone in collecting stories just like these.
According to this USA Today article, a recent published study shows numbers of people who have wanted to move abroad throughout Trump’s presidency in 2017, 2018 and 2019 were at or around 16%, which is less than Obama (10%), and George W Bush (11%). Even more interesting is that young women want to leave in much higher numbers. 40% of women under 30 say they would like to leave.
But while people say they want to move abroad, and Republicans mocked the many celebrities who said they would move if Trump won in 2016, I understand it completely.
The desire to escape your current environment, in this case by moving abroad, and taking the actual action stem from two very different mindsets.
And now that the election is over (I think?! Can we officially breathe out yet?), you might still be part of the core group of democrats who fear the fact that, although Trump might be out, roughly 70 million people see a guy like that as fit for the office of President of the United States of America. You might still be thinking, I just can’t live here anymore.
The Thing About Radical Change
Here’s the thing: moving abroad is about radical change. It is not a gradual. You are tearing up your entire life that you know and heading off into the unknown.
Radical change, otherwise known as transformational change, is usually something that happens to those who have reached a bottom point, seen the depths and realized that there is only certain death or radical change.
Like a morbidly obese person who loses hundreds of pounds after a heart attack nearly ends their life.
Like an alcoholic who quits drinking after endangering the life of a loved one due to drinking.
Like a workaholic whose spouse threatens divorce after too many missed dinners and Sundays at the office.
Radical change happens for most when they have sacrificed, often risking their future, and have seen the bottom, the darkness, and you don’t only realize that more of the same action leads to more of the same pain, but you also have felt the pain and suffering you cause yourself and others by not creating radical change in your life.
You act when there is no other way to handle the situation.
Most people who claimed their desire to move abroad were disgusted at what America had become, in their minds. What the 45th president of the United States did was hold up a mirror to what it means to be an American. For so many of us, the mythology of being American was filled with (often unexamined) pride.
This last year, we collectively began to see America as it really is. This is not only directly because of Donald Trump, but because the pandemic meant that we couldn’t distract our attention away from the horrible killings of black and brown people, and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement.
This year in America has been as eye-opening for Americans across the race/class/gender divides as the day you realized as a child (or adult child) that your parents are just people, and that they are far from perfect. The country you, or at least many US citizens, have had unquestioned pride for now suddenly doesn’t look so Dreamy.
The Mythology of the American Dream
The mythology of America exists both here and abroad by billions around the world - even despite atrocities caused by American foreign policy or at the hands of our soldiers. The myth has been perpetuated far and wide because, for centuries, people flocked to America for a better life and better opportunity. The Ellis Island website tells stories of immigrants who arrived at the island believing the roads were paved with gold.
The American Dream mythology, therefore, has always been a story of immigration, not of emigration. People flock TO America, not away FROM it. Why would you leave a place where the rest of the world wants to be?
And so any American dreaming of moving abroad often faces a barrage of doubt, and an intense lack of support, from family and friends who believe that such a ‘reckless’ move would sabotage their lives, their careers, their opportunities because they are leaving the best country in the world.
What usually happens once Americans become expatriates, however, is a fairly quick crumbling of the foundation of the American Dream. There are successful, happy people living all over the world, and America is by no means the best.
In many studies, America is actually quite far down on the list of happiness, a fact that is much easier to understand for expats who live outside the excessively individualist sink or swim brand of Capitalism Uber Alles you find in the United States.
For so long, however, Americans have always placed themselves atop that list despite evidence to the contrary - middle of the road rankings in education, top of the list rankings in healthcare costs and incarceration. Yet the four years of Trump’s presidency changed all of that. Maybe it was his slogan. To make America great again, it must not be that great to start. Here so many patriots were thinking they were in the best country in the world, now vehemently insisting that their own country needed to be made better.
And for those of us who will never forget the sadness and trauma of November 4th, 2016, stunned that our country had actually elected this man… well, clearly America isn’t so great if we could elect a racist, fascist, p*ssy-grabber.
For the first time, all of America suddenly doubted America’s greatness. No longer was this the ignored insider knowledge of people of color, queer folks, marginalized communities and American expats living abroad.
Is this your breaking point?
None of us believe that just because Joe Biden is President Elect and Kamala Harris is Vice President Elect, America will somehow start being great.
After all, DJT got 70 million votes. There are 70 million people who either directly support him or are privileged enough to ignore all the things that cause the rest of us to fear for our very lives as we know them.
Does that mean that everyone should still plan on moving abroad who have been thinking about it, or seek to avoid the shame of living in a divided nation?
Well… that really depends.
To create momentum, to make a radical change, takes an incredible amount of energy.
Are you at your rock bottom? Is this the darkness before the dawn? Or can you go back to living in a divided America, as long as that imminent fear-stoking subsides and boil is reduced to a simmer?
Here’s one thing I know for sure. These last four years have opened up the world to Americans who have been traditionally trapped in a Coke vs Pepsi mindset. Red or Blue, democrat or republican, you don’t have to order one brand of brown sugar water or the other. You can move to many places, and drink from many wells. You can drink wine in Italy or coffee in Turkey or Sake in Japan or you can even drink Italian wine in Japan because the world is so incredibly global now. You can choose your brand of democracy, now, and it can be anything you want it to be.
Are there better places to live?
According to MIT’s Technology Review, global talent has already caught on to the crumbling American Dream, and this is due in no small part to US immigration policy of this past (it’s past, right? It’s over?) administration. Even before the Pandemic, NPR’s piece in January covered the fact that Canada is seen as more favorable to the world’s top tech workers over Silicon Valley.
But I’m not top tech talent, you’re thinking. Maybe not but if you are a hard-working American who wishes they could build a business, or chase a passion, then you know that America isn’t very favorable to you, either. Just the need for health insurance alone has killed countless entrepreneurial dreams in this country.
YOU know that you chasing your dreams here has become nearly impossible. And you know what? Thailand knows that. And Estonia knows that. Barbados, Bermuda, Spain - they all have opened up visas favorable to a remote workforce of freshly minted digital nomads. They would rather support your dream by offering you the type of visas you want - especially now that the world has turned forever toward remote work at a global scale.
In that sense, if you have ever dreamt about moving abroad, it has suddenly become easier than ever to do so.
But before you run off to live your best life, please make sure that you focus on finding your true ‘why’. You can’t want to move abroad because you want to run away. That will not work.
First, Find Your Why
In this now famous 2009 TED talk, Simon Sinek explains the difference between knowing your ‘what’ or your ‘how’ is much less effective than knowing your ‘why’ (plus, if minute 6:00 does now explain Trump’s scarily overwhelming success, nothing will).
Finding your ‘why’ is how you can truly become the hero of your own story. Beyond the American myth, let’s focus instead on the Hero’s Journey, seen throughout mythology across the ages. As Joseph Campbell discovered in his research, much of mythology and religion is based on a “hero [who] ventures forth from a familiar world into strange and sometimes threatening lands – be it a passage into the desert, a plunge into the ocean, or getting lost in a dark forest, in search of a better life on the other side.”
You may have felt forced out onto a trek through the depths of 2016 election despair that shattered your worldview of what it means to be American. Or maybe you almost felt forced out, and 2020 was going to push you over the edge.
If this election was to be your Why, then you don’t have to move abroad now.
But I’ve learned a thing or two in my 15 years abroad, in writing my book and from interviewing global travel experts on my podcast Adventure Calls: not everyone is dreaming of moving abroad. Even during these four years, not everyone out there is considering this. I tell you that so you realize that if you are dreaming of it, maybe the election was an excuse, but maybe this is really your dream - regardless of which 70+ year old, straight white male is in office.
My advice to you is to follow this three-step plan.
Find your ‘why’.
Find your ‘where’.
Find your team.
To form your team, there are thousands of bloggers and vloggers, Instagrammers and TikTok-ers, Facebook groups, relocation specialists and expat coaches like myself who can help you get to wherever you want to go. Follow all who have gone before you, and none of the people in your life who make you feel that you are crazy for following your dream.
But don’t start there. Start with a redefined vision for WHY you want to move abroad. Not one driven by a fear of narrowly escaping the crash of facism in a brave new technologically advanced world, but instead one of infinite choice, more attractive visa options, one where the world of work has gone remote, where the rest of the world has fast enough wi-fi and delicious coffee and less expensive real estate and a culture where work does not run your life.
You can run toward a life where you speak a new language, and every day you learn something new, rather than being stuck in a rut so familiar you could be blindfolded and still find your way home. A life where you don’t take a day for granted, where you see endless possibility, where you are willing to take a risk in order to feel the world of possibilities open to you. Where you can learn and grow and your human experience can expand, infinitely if you let it.
Picture yourself as the hero of your journey, off to explore the world - and the world within yourself.
The Crossroads of Should And Must
If this is exactly where you are right now, then you find yourself at the crossroads of should and must. To find your why, please read, re-read and read again this article by Elle Luna that will help you to understand the things that you ‘want to’ do, and the things that you HAVE to do.
Once you understand your ‘why’, you can figure out your ‘where’ - or what country or countries would serve your true dreams in the best way. Then finally, find your team of people who can help you to achieve your dream of moving abroad.
